I finally got to meet Beth's friends at a fancy party. It was for a birthday, a woman named Madame Malfeasance. Leading up to the event I was a bundle of nerves. When we were at the door I was nearly pissing myself. I was going to meet a group of criminals, villains, and killers. I knew about them from the top news stories every day when I logged onto the internet. Now I was going to meet them in the flesh.
My heart pounded in my chest as we drove to the club. Somehow, in my brain, I had set up a distinction between Beth and all the other villains. She was a sweet woman who very rarely hurt people while she robbed a bank every so often. The people she was going to introduce me to were evil. Like, evil evil. It was a distinction which didn't hold up in the face of anything approaching logic.
The first time we met she pointed a gun in my face and molested me. She wasn't on the side of angels.
Her little "pep talk" in the truck before going into the party didn't calm my nerves.
"Everything is gonna' be fine, Luke. Don't worry. Relax. But seriously, these are the biggest criminals in the state. Ya' have to understand that they're gonna' be talking about stuff they've done, they're mostly not gonna' be in costume and ya'll probably hear some a' their civilian names. Don't even THINK about repeating anything you hear to anyone. That goes double if you think about going to the police.
"I mean that literally. Don't even think about it. There will be a few psychics in there and I don't want them picking up any a' your stray thoughts. At best they'll use that to blackmail me into helping them with a job. At worst...if ya're ever found again, at all, it will be in four different states."
I struggled to breathe. A headache came upon me so quick I was afraid I was having a stroke. Like an embolism just burst in my brain. I opened my mouth to say something. Nothing came out but a dry croak. It was like her words magically turned my throat to sandpaper.
"Then why...are we here?" I finally managed to choke out.
"Because it's a party!" She shouted, her blue eyes grew wide with delight.
"I understand. What I don't get is why you're bringing me at all if I could be killed. I'm not going to have much fun if I'm afraid of getting shot in the back of the head while going to the bathroom."
"Just don't think any stray thoughts which could get ya' killed."
"I can't help myself! It's like trying not to think of pink elephants! I'm thinking about cops! I'm thinking about S.W.A.T.! I'm thinking about the show Cops and the movie S.W.A.T.! How about this? I drop you off, go home, play Madden on X-Box, you party your ass off and we'll meet up afterwards. That way we both have fun and I don't end up dead. Everyone is happy."
"No! You're not just gonna' hang out with your friend and play video games! You're coming to this party! I want to have fun and I won't if ya' aren't there. I want ya' to meet my friends and hang out with them."
"Even if it means my death?" I asked.
"Yes, even if it means the risk a' one of them smooshing your head like a grape."
My stomach turned in on itself. I hadn't actually considered the weird ways I could be killed. Getting shot, yes. Being slowly melted like a candle, no. There were all sorts of horrible ways to die when you involved powered people. The graveyards of Paradiso were proof positive of that.
I grabbed the handle of the door. The lock clicked shut. I flipped it open and it popped closed again before I could open the door and flee.
"Lemme' out! Lemme' out! Lemme' out!" I shouted, "I want to go home!"
"Luke!" Beth shouted back, "Luke, calm down, Godammit! It was just a joke I mean, yeah, someone in there, a lotta' people actually, could crush your head like a grape. I ain't gonna' let 'em, though." The words somehow penetrated my brain even as I flailed at the door she kept locking shut. I slumped back into my seat, covered in a thin coat of sweat, gulping for air. She rubbed my shoulder, "Just breathe, babe, I was just fuckin' with ya' and I'm sorry. Thought it would break the tension. You're gonna' be fine. Nobody's gonna' touch ya.' Not unless they want to draw down with me."
The idea of a modern-day outlaw doling out justice made me smile, then laugh a little. Beth started smiling, too.
"I want ya' to meet my friends. And be cool with them. I really l...like havin' ya' in my life and it's frustrating that all the time I haveta' choose between going out with ya' or hanging out with them. I could be doin' both and havin' the time a' my life. It's stupid to keep ya' guys apart."
"I still don't understand to meet your friends at a place where I could die."
"Because it'll be fun! There's a ton of free booze in there. And everyone is gonna' be here, so it saves me the time of introducing ya' one-by-one. Plus, you're gonna' see a lotta' weird shit. Best to get it all over with now. Especially my friend Sarah. She's very sensitive about the way she looks, so when ya' meet her don't say anything about her face."
