1
It weren’t the first time somebody’d locked me in a casket. What was odd was that they didn’t seem too eager ta’ bury me. I tried ta’ keep my wits about me, but it was hard without any light. Best I could figure we’d been travellin’ for about two days.
I could barely hear my three captors talkin’ through the cheap pine. They were a jovial sort, their conversation often punctuated with bouts a’ laughter. Glad they were having a good time. It was good ta’ die in high spirits. Because when I got free of the casket I was gonna’ murder the hell outta’ them.
The only thing worse than being trapped in a casket for two days with nowhere ta’ relieve yourself was being trapped in that same box with the ghost of a woman you killed. Well, truth be told, I didn’t kill her. Not really, though I was kind of the reason she died. What happened was that she needed a human soul ta’ sacrifice, but ended up usin’ me instead. Needless ta’ say things went bad and she got pulled down inta’ hell. Later, through events completely outta’ my hand involving a room with walls made outta’ flesh that I don’t care ta’ relate presently, she got dragged outta’ Hell. Now she was doomed ta’ haunt the Earth and me specifically until I killed whoever was responsible for her death.
She didn’t seem ta’ know that I was responsible. Hell had taken a sledgehammer to her mind. She didn’t quite know who killed her or why she was dead. She spent her time pesterin’ me to get her revenge though she didn’t know who ta’ get revenge on. My one bit a’ luck was that she couldn’t manifest all that time. She’d disappear for long stretches a’ time, goin’ wherever ghosts go when they ain’t haunting people.
Right now she was floating above the casket, pressin’ her face through the wood so it was right against mine. Even in death she remained a wrinkled old woman with gnarled teeth. Her time in Hell didn’t improve her manners none.
“You’re not even trying to escape anymore. You don’t know where they’re taking you!”
“Know why I ain’t trying to escape? Because it’s pointless.”
“As long as you’re alive it’s not hopeless.”
“I said pointless, not hopeless. I can’t get my strength in it enough ta’ pry the top off. Look at my fingers.” I held up my hands. Trying ta’ get out resulted in me losing a couple a’ fingernails. My fingertips were caked in dried blood and ached, “I figure there are two ways this is gonna’ shake out. One, they aren’t gonna’ be expecting me ta’ be alive after a couple days in a wooden box. If that’s the case, when they open the box I’ll jump out and surprise them and punch them in the throats.”
“What’s the other option?”
“Well…they might know that bein’ in here without food and water won’t kill me which means the possibility that they are takin’ me to someone who knows my true nature. If that’s the case then once they open the box I’ll be tortured then killed.”
I found that bounty hunters had started playing a bigger part in my life. Guess my past was finally catchin’ up ta’ me. Part a’ the problem of being a monster killer was that not everybody believed in monsters. So that vampire I staked looked just like a guy with a hunk a’ wood in his chest. Werewolves had a nasty habit of revertin’ to human form in death which makes it look like I enjoy shooting naked men. And no amount a’ explaining ta’ people that one of the three towns I burned down was filled with dead people before the flames consumed the place. The money on my head was so good that it seemed that even the three bumpkins escortin’ me decided ta’ cash in.
My captors opened the box. After being in the dark for so long the afternoon sun was absolutely blinding. They tried ta’ make me walk, but my legs were shaky. With my blindness I kept tripping over my feet. My hands were tied in front a me, so I couldn’t catch myself. Eventually my captors got bored a’ watchin’ me eat dirt so two a’ them picked me up by my armpits, while the third kept a shotgun trained on my back.
Just when I was able ta’ see again they dragged me into a saloon. The darkness was just as blinding as the light was. They plunked me down in a chair.
“Whatya’ want?” One a’ them asked.
“Freedom?”
“For a drink, idiot.”
“Water.”
“This is a bar. Order a man’s drink.”
“Whiskey…and a water.”
Finally the spots in my eyes faded and the blurry shapes sharpened inta’ focus. I wasn’t alone at the table. In one chair sat a dead fella’ missin’ his jaw. Across from him was a man with both his hands nailed to the table. He was feebly moving his head trying ta’ pull the nail from his left hand with his mouth.
Scattered around the table, mixed in with the pool a blood and broken teeth, were glasses and bottles, cards, dollar bills and various coins.
The man chewin’ on the nail looked up at me, “Please…help me.”
“Pardner, I don’t mean ta’ sound cruel, but I ain’t in the position ta’ help,” I held up my bound wrists, hoping it didn’t look like I was showing off, what with havin’ working hands.
“Please help me.”
I tried ta’ ignore him, but it weren’t working. Finally I relented. I leaned over and grabbed the nail in his right hand. If I thought he was miserable before, I just made it worse. He was hollerin’ something terrible. One of my captors returned to the table with my drinks.
“Jesus, Jones, what’d that guy do to you?”
“Just trying ta’ help this fella’ out.”
“Didn’t sound like you were helping. Besides, don’t help him, he’s a dirty cheater.”
“This is cruel.”
The thug looked at me, then to the man, then back ta’ me.
“Y’know, Jones, you’re right.” He pulled out his gun and shot the man through the head. His body rocked back, tearing his hands through the nails as he fell to the ground. The thug pressed the barrel of his gun against my temple. My skin sizzled where the hot metal touched, “There. Now wasn’t that merciful?”
Instead of saying anything I sipped at my whiskey. I had a sinking feeling in my belly that this wasn’t a normal bounty case. I wasn’t being brought ta’ any law enforcement agency for money. My suspicions were confirmed when I heard a voice shouting from upstairs.
“You better explain yourselves! I said no shooting! Not even if he starts shooting at you! Especially if he shoots at you. He’s the worst shot on this miserable planet. Just wait for him to run out of bullets.”
I closed my eyes and silently swore. It was a female’s voice. Sweet as sugar. Even yelling it sounded enchanting. This wasn’t a bounty case. I had been hunted down by the one person who wanted to see me alive and not because they wanted ta’ kill me.
When I opened my eyes she was sittin’ across from me. Betty. To anyone else she was the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. Even now all the thugs’ eyes were on her. Silken black hair, full red lips, great tits. She used ta’ be perfect until I ruined that. First night I met her I stabbed her in the shoulder. Because I wasn’t diligent in cleaning my knife her arm got infected and she ended up losin’ the whole arm. For any other woman that would’ve been devastating; not necessarily the end a’ her whoring career, but definitely a step down in the level a’ clientele she serviced.
Not for Betty. She was a succubus, a lust demon in human form. It weren’t no big deal her missin’ a vital part a’ her anatomy. She had the power ta’ control men, any man, from degenerate miner ta’ happily married, God fearin’ preachers.
She was in love with me, though. An unfamiliar sensation for a demon. It was all because I had no soul so I was the first human she’d ever met that she couldn’t control. In her twisted mind that made me irresistible and she’d been pursuing me ever since.
This was the first time she’d enlisted outside help. Outside HUMAN help. She’d tried demon brigades before. Succubi weren’t he highest echelons a’ demons so the type a’ monsters they could conjure and command weren’t exactly the cream a’ the crop. Basically dumb animals, only good for slaughter. They attracted my attention, sure, but they were never bright enough to formulate or execute a plan ta’ capture me.
Sending a gang a’ humans gave me pause. It weren’t like my hands were clean, but I still tried not ta’ kill people, no matter how vile they were.
“How’s your drink?”
“Whiskey’s fine. It’s the company that’s sour.”
“That’s clever,” she laughed, but also absent mindedly rubbed the nub where he arm used ta’ be, “how did you ever get ta’ be so clever?” She laughed again at her accidental rhyme. If she weren’t a demon who sexually enslaved men for their souls I’da thought she was nervous about something.
“I had a lotta’ time ta’ think up clever responses when I was trapped in a casket for two days.”
It was like she was seein’ me for the first time. I didn’t have a clue how disheveled I looked. She sniffed the air, crinkling her nose at my pungent aroma of sweat and shit.
“Yeah, that’s me,” I said.
“Jaysis. I thought that was the dead guy.”
“Nope. All me. Pretty sorry state of affairs when I smell worse than a corpse.”
“This won’t do at all. I expected we would have to do some grooming, but all this here is a train wreck.”
“Now you’re just being hurtful. What is this all about anyway? I thought we were quits after last time. Shouldn’t you still be in hell?”
“Well, you know me. Because a’ you, escaping hell has become as easy as breathing. But everything is going to change now.”
I really didn’t want ta’ know the answer, but I had ta’ ask, “Why is everything gonna’ change?”
She smiled. A big, toothy smile that was just the least bit coy. It looked like she was blushing. She walked over and sat down on my lap, “Because after the weddin’ I’m gonna’ make it so you never want ta’ leave me.”
Outta’ all the shocks the day brought me, that was the biggest. I was too stunned ta’ reply. Betty took the opportunity ta’ kiss me on the mouth. She ran her tongue along my teeth. It tasted like honey wine. Something twisted in my stomach and I had ta’ fight the urge ta’ throw up. This was the effect she had on me. Any other man they’d be coming in their pants immediately. That same power caused me ta’ get sick all over the place.
I gagged and she jumped off my lap like she’d been struck by lightning. By now she was well aware of what her presence did ta’ me and she didn’t want me ruining another one of her pretty dresses. Once she weren’t kissing on me the nausea went away. She smiled again and waved her finger at me disapprovingly.
“We’re gonna’ have to come up with a way around…that. But that’s for later. Right now we have a lot to do. I’ve already cleared this town of all undesirable folk ta’ make room for my family, but we still need ta’ get you a proper suit.” She clapped her hands together, “This is gonna’ be so much fun!”
She jumped in the air a couple of times then ran outta’ the saloon. I looked around. Someone had messed up. I was all alone. The corpse a’ the guy who’d been nailed to the table still had his shooter on him. I quickly grabbed it out and checked ta’ see if it was loaded. All six cylinders were full. Before I could come up with a clever plan the doors ta’ the saloon opened. I quickly stuffed the revolver into my belt, under my jacket, just in time for some of the thugs ta’ pick me up and carry me off.
2
Hiding the gun did me no good. The thugs job was ta’ make me presentable. Or rather guard me as I was made presentable. They didn’t even leave me alone while I stripped outta’ my soiled clothes so they found the gun immediately. They weren’t too happy, but there was nothing they could do about it.
Normally I found baths very relaxing, when I could afford ‘em. It was nice ta’ sit in the warm water, get the dirt out from my toes, wash all the grit and dried blood outta’ my hair. Baths weren’t very relaxing when there were several men with shotguns pointed at me making sure I didn’t try anything.
I was lathering up when the ghost reappeared. She’d suddenly disappeared earlier, right when the thugs opened the casket. It startled me, but not as bad as it frightened the thugs. All at once six shotguns fired. I ducked down under the water as the wall and the ghost disappeared above me. She wasn’t gonna’ be back for a while. I tried thanking them, but they thought it was one a my tricks ta’ escape so they started hitting me. They figured as long as they didn’t break anything and they avoided my face it would be okay since my suit would cover all my bruises.
After the beating I figured I’d get dressed, but I wasn’t able ta’. They burned my clothes and I had nothing ta’ wear. Not that I had any great desire ta’ climb back into them, but it did make escape impossible. As much as I could push my body, thanks ta’ the deal I made with the demon for my soul, even I didn’t think it was possible for me ta’ survive naked in the desert for long. The thugs did grant me the mercy of a towel, for their sake as much as mine.
It turned out not everybody in the town was murdered. Two had been spared: the barber and the tailor. The tailor was a nice enough gent. He was a bit short with me since I was, indirectly, responsible for the carnage that had befallen his town. Even in the presence of Betty he managed ta’ keep his anger under control long enough ta’ get my measurements down.
The barber worried me. With the way his hands were shakin’ I was sure he’d lop my head off. While I was not lookin’ forward ta’ being Mr. Hellbeast, I definitely wasn’t lookin’ forward ta’ him accidentally slashing my throat while he shaved me. Based on a past experience, of which I still had a scar, I was always on edge whenever anybody touched my neck, especially with a razor. By the time he finished, with only one minor cut, I was so tense that I had pressed my tongue into my sharp tooth so hard it was bleeding.
After that there was nothing left ta’ do. My suit would take a while to complete and it was too dark ta’ have what Betty referred to as a “proper wedding.” Whatever that term meant to a demon I had no clue.
Betty left me alone ta' go do her own celebrating. Not alone, exactly since I was well guarded. Directly outside the door there were three men, different from the three who kidnapped me, one on each side while the third was directly across the hall with a shotgun. I heard Betty order him ta' shoot me if I so much as opened the door. Hopefully it was just loaded with salt. Maybe it wasn't. I hoped that she had also told him ta' try ta' shoot me in a non-vital area. That wasn't much comfort either. I'd hate ta' lose a foot ‘cuz that would make future runnin' pretty hard.
I walked over ta' the window and surveyed my options there. I couldn't help thinking of just making a run for it and trying ta' make it bare assed as far as I could. It didn't seem like there was too much activity outside. Every so often I'd see one or two a' Betty's thugs wandering around the street with a shotgun. It didn't seem like it would be too hard ta' get out, if I managed ta' make the jump from the second story without breaking my leg. The thought was sorely tempting until I saw in the darkness a scaled tail drag outta' site. Naked and running was one thing, naked and running through dark filled with demons was stupid suicide.
There was a small upside ta' this imprisonment: Betty was tryin' her damnedest ta' try ta' make me happy. First she made sure I was well-fed. It'd been a long time since I'd eaten steak. I hoped it was cow and not human. Along with the steak she also had someone bring up a case a' whiskey.
Seemed fair. Downstairs there was a large party going on with a band playing. I could barely hear it over the shouting and yellin'. And growlin.' I guessed some of the demons came outta' the cold for some fun. Since there was nothing ta' do except pace and drink that's what I did on the eve of my second marriage.
3
When I woke up, fuzzy headed and nauseous, I wasn't alone. Betty was curled up against me, still asleep, with her hand wrapped around my manhood. She was naked except for a cowboy hat and one boot.
When my vision cleared I looked around. The room was in shambles. The door had a giant hole in it and there were chunks a' wood and splinters all over the floor. Not that the floor was doin' too well itself. There were holes randomly shot through it, like someone got excited and fired into the air, forgettin' they were still inside and that the ceiling a' the barroom weren't necessarily the roof a' the building.
I tried gettin' up, but soon as I started movin' Betty's hand moved from my shaft to my balls, giving them a gentle, but firm squeeze. With my head already done in by the drink I didn't need another reason ta' be sick all over the place. When I settled back onto the mattress she released the pressure, if not her hand, from my boys.
"You weren't thinking of escape, were ya'?" When she said 'escape' she punctuated it with a hard squeeze.
"Right now escape is the furthest thought from my mind." That weren't exactly the truth. Escape was damned close ta' bein' the first thing on my mind, except I had ta' piss like none other. If I didn't get relief soon I was likely ta' explode, "I just need ta' do my morning routine. Mind tellin' me where I can find the outhouse?"
"Why don't you use the chamber pot? 's what it's there for," Betty giggled. Obviously the effects of last night's party hadn't worn off her yet. Like I was one ta' talk.
I looked over ta' the corner. One of my guards from the previous night was crumpled on the ground, the chamber pot over his head. There was blood all over the ground, most of it leaking from out of the pot. I tried ta’ conjure up some memory of what I got up to last night, but I couldn't recall a thing.
"Looks like somebody's already usin' it."
Betty sat up so she could see, "Right, right. You got a bit rowdy last night. I thought three guards would've been enough ta' keep you in line. Guess I was wrong. But who am I ta' ruin your good time? It's your big day as well. Get Juaquin to escort you ta' the outhouse." She let go of my jewels.
I got up. From how quickly I was moving it was pretty obvious I wasn't fetchin' help, but making a break for it. I heard her pull the hammer back on a gun. When I looked back she had retrieved a revolver from some place. In her hand it looked like a giant cannon. I grinned.
"Really? On our weddin' day?"
"I wouldn't kill you...just wound ya'. Maybe shoot you in the knee. You definitely wouldn't be able ta' scamper off after that. Who knows? Maybe you'd lose the leg. It'd only be fair." She fired. I heard the bullet snap past my leg. When I didn't react she fired again. This time it went between my legs. She smiled, running her tongue over her teeth, "Except...I want you ta' be able ta' dance at the reception. Maybe afterwards." She winked.
I slowly walked to the door, looking for someone to take me to the bathroom. As messed up as the room was the hall was much worse. It was a butcher's shop. What used ta' be two people was splattered all over the walls. I started ta' think maybe it was better that I didn't remember what happened the night before. There wasn't a chance I'd find someone ta' take me so I turned around, opened a window and pissed into the morning sun.
When I was done shaking off I noticed that I pissed onto the head of some demon. It sputtered with rage.
"How uncivilized!" it shouted up at me. I waved. Figured that was as good a ways as any ta' introduce myself to Betty's family.
4
From the bags under his eyes it was obvious that the tailor hadn't slept at all. Made sense since my suit was perfect. I'd never worn clothes as fancy as the suit he made. It occurred ta' me that the last time I'd truly worn clothes that truly fit me was before I sold my soul, back when I had ta' look presentable and trustworthy ta' sell guns. Better times back then.
When I put the jacket on I noticed some odd weights in the chest. When I made ta' do a pat down the tailor grabbed my wrist. He tried ta' make it look like he was smoothin' out a wrinkle. He leaned in close ta me and whispered inta' my ear.
"Derringers. One sewn inta' the lining of your jacket."
"You don't have ta' whisper," soon as I said that he cocked his head towards the demon guarding the door like I hadn't seen it, "Those things can't understand English. Or any human language. They're basically the demon equivalent of dogs. How'm I supposed ta' get the guns out?"
"Jerry gave me one of his razors. That's tucked into a special pocket I sewed into your left sleeve. You better do something good with these because Jerry opened his wrists after he cut your hair."
For the first time his demeanor broke. No longer was he the stoic man getting his job done. He was in agony over what had happened and what he'd seen. I didn't know the particulars, but I sure as hell could imagine just was sort a' hell on Earth Betty created in the town. Everyone he'd known was most assuredly dead and they died horrible deaths, each an' every one a' them.
"Ya' know...had I known it'd come ta' this...I woulda' tried harder ta' kill her."
Despite the tears in his eyes he broke into a grin. We had a chuckle for a bit before the bells started ringing. The demon at the door grunted at me. I shook the tailor's hand and stepped out into the sun. As I looked back the last thing I saw before the door shut was the demon biting off the tailor's head.
As I walked up to the altar, which was actually the town gallows with the ropes removed, I heard a voice whisperin' ta' me. It was the ghost, finally reforming after being shot. It was faint, but gettin' stronger. I never could figure out what she was sayin' during times like that, but every time I brought it up she said she didn't remember sayin' anything.
There were seats set up, arranged like they were in a church. On one side sat all the human thugs and their prostitutes. On the other side were the demons, some who were very uncomfortable sittin' in seats made for human asses.
Up on the gallows was a man that looked like a priest. I knew it wasn't and I had a feelin' I knew who it was. A feeling that was confirmed as I got closer. The body had, indeed, belonged to an actual priest a few years ago when, through no real fault a' my own, he was possessed by one a' the meanest, nastiest demons I'd ever seen crawl outta' hell. Like Betty I'd had dealings with him over the years since he'd come ta' Earth. I always seemed ta' come off worse for wear when we tangled so I'd largely tried ta' ignore him in the hopes he'd go away.
The priest he possessed had been old and frail. The demon, in its own form, was a massive beast, twice as tall as a normal man with muscles like gun steel under its scaled, scarred skin. Now the priest's body looked like a mixture between the two forms. The priest's body was now young and fit, his face was completely wrinkle free and he had a full head of thick black hair. Nobody who knew the priest would recognize his body now.
Last I knew he was going by the name Darcy McClusky, spending his time travelin' from town ta' town preaching salvation while sowing discord; once virtuous people lead inta' sinning and violence. After he leaves it wasn’t more than a month before it becomes nearly a ghost town, not safe ta' travel through. I wasn't sure what his endgame was, if he even had one. There was always the possibility that he was destroying people an' towns for the sheer pleasure of it.
He was grinning. Of course he was. He hated me. As much pain and misery he inflicted on my life he couldn't outright kill me. The demon that held my soul was either more powerful or higher ranking in hell's hierarchy than Darcy. Participatin' in this farcical marriage ta' Betty was probably making him giddy as all get out. He had ta' do something different in between murders. The bastard was even holding a real bible.
"Don't you look handsome? That tailor works magic."
"Fuck you, Darcy."
"That's no way to act on your special day."
"We both know this don't change shit. There's nothing official about it. Right now I'm surrounded by monsters and armed thugs. I'm goin' along for it for now, but give me some time and I'll get outta' this. I walked away from a wife I loved, watch me run from one I despise."
His grin grew so wide I expected the top a' his head ta' flip off.
"I guess you and Betty didn't do much talking last night. Girl's got plans."
"What are you talkin' about, Darcy?"
"Your honeymoon. Betty doesn't want to travel. Mostly she wants to go home, show you off to her daddy, who couldn't be here by the way. He's just a bit too powerful to walk this plane. Powerful enough to barter souls. He's the type who would take a loss on a trade if it meant getting a certain soul for his favorite little girl," he stopped a moment to let that sink in, "Well, I'm going to check to see if the lovely bride is ready."
It took all my strength not ta' pull out my hidden guns and shoot Darcy in the back. Having shot him numerous times, with much bigger guns than a derringer, I knew it wouldn't do any good. I'd only piss him off by ruining his clothes.
I was startin' ta' sweat when exactly I was going to escape. Before finding out about our travel plans I just planned on waiting until Betty got lazy with security or just plain bored with me and make a run for it.
"What was that all about?" the ghost whispered in my ear.
“Darcy’s claiming that Betty’s father is a powerful lord a’ hell. An’ that means he could get his hands on my soul from the demon I sold it to. With that he could keep me in hell. Forever.”
“But that means…you wouldn’t…but we must escape! You can’t go to hell! Not yet! You’re the only one who can set me free from being a ghost!”
The more frantic she got the more I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony. If she only knew that me goin’ ta’ hell could possibly free her from bein’ a ghost she’d be all for it. Though knowin’ what she did when she was alive I had no doubt that while she’d stop bein’ a ghost, her soul weren’t heaven-bound. Odds were it’d be booted down inta’ the pit right next ta’ mine.
She was still complaining when one a’ the thugs fired his gun three times, the sign that everyone, an’ everything, had to take their seats. Darcy’d already returned to my side, still smilin’, even more because he had ta’ listen to the ghost. If I really had ta’ point fingers he was the thing that actually killed the woman. She should be haunting him.
Betty stepped outta’ the saloon looking more beautiful than ever. Under the sun her white dress made her shine. The finery of it, the way that it managed ta’ cover her stump rather than draw attention to it, made me think that she had spent a lotta’ time on it. Or a lotta’ energy threatening seamstresses ta’ get it perfect. As she walked up the center a’ the chairs every head turned ta’ watch her. Even I couldn’t stop staring.
She took her place by my side and Darcy started the ceremony. Now it had been a couple a’ years since my first marriage, but I didn’t quite recall mine having quite so much blasphemy.
During the ceremony Betty kept stealing glances at me. She was smiling. Under her veil I saw tears in her eyes. I honestly hadn’t considered that this was what she wanted and that it could make her truly happy. Too bad it wasn’t gonna’ play out that way. It was good she was cryin’ now since what I had planned was gonna’ make this day end in tears anyway.
All through the ceremony the ghost whispered plans in my ear. What she was sayin’ all amounted to suicide, she thought I had no plans a’ my own that didn’t result in my death anyway.
I was so deep in thought that I completely missed everything. I only snapped out of it when Darcy said, “Do you take this man to be your husband…eternally?”
Betty wiped away a tear, “I do.”
“And do you, Abacus Jones, you rat-fuck son-of-a-bitch, take this woman to be your wife? Forever? And ever?”
Moment a’ truth. I was gripping my wrist, it woulda’ been pretty easy ta’ pull out the straight razor. Whether or not I could do anything with it was another matter. Part of me, I admit, was tempted ta’ say ‘yes.’ I was doomed ta’ hell anyway. Doin’ this, marrying Betty, could be a way of at least making my eternal damnation a bit comfortable.
But, no, I wasn’t gonna’ go out like that.
Before I could do something stupid the ghost went and did it for me. She leapt forward and disappeared into Betty’s body. There was a moment of pause. No one was quite sure what ta’ make a’ the situation. Behind the veil I saw Betty’s soulless black eyes turn white. I couldn’t believe what I was seein’.
Never in my life had I seen a demon become possessed.
I started ta’ smell cinnamon and roses. I knew what was coming. My stomach lurched. My throat clenched while my mouth went all watery. I looked inta’ the crowd. The demon side looked just as miserable as me: in agony, sick to their stomachs. Meanwhile the human side, the lucky bastards, were in heaven. All a’ them had giant smiles on their faces. Some a’ them already passed out from how much bliss they’d experienced. I’d give anything ta’ feel like that instead a’ the way I did.
Even Darcy was affected by Betty’s powers. He was sweating, gritting his teeth in an effort ta’ keep from throwing up. It was the first time I’d ever seen him anywhere close ta’ weak. Guess I had an advantage over the asshole. He’d never had a succubus use her powers on him. Probably never been hungover neither, never had ta’ deal with working while you want to heave everything up and go ta’ sleep.
I pulled the razor out a’ my sleeve, snapped it open and made ta’ slash Darcy’s throat. He weren’t as vulnerable as I thought. He caught my wrist in an unbreakable grip. Bone ground against bone, I was sure they would break any moment. I cried out and dropped the razor. He started puking, but he still wouldn’t let go of my wrist.
I scratched at my jacket, finally managing ta’ get a hold a’ the lining and rip it out. As promised there was a derringer. I pulled it out and pointed it at Darcy’s face. He managed ta’ turn right as I fired. At first I thought I missed completely, but when he turned back I saw that I caught him mostly on his right eye. Hadn’t blown it completely out, but his whole socket was messed up, dripping blood and eyeball goo.
He started yelling. He still wouldn’t let go of my wrist. Obviously losing an eyeball wasn’t gonna’ slow him down, so I shoved the barrel of the gun into his other eye until it popped. That finally got him ta’ let go.
Blinded, he struck out and punched Betty. Her body went flying inta’ the crowd while the ghost stood there, shocked by the lack of body again. Betty crumpled like a puppet with its strings cut. The moment she was down Darcy straightened up. He sniffed the air.
“I don’t need eyes to find you, Abacus. I can smell you. Smells like meat and failure. No matter where you go I’ll find you. No matter how far you run I’ll follow…” before he could finish his threat I picked up the razor and jammed it inta’ his mouth. I wanted him ta’ shut up. I pulled it down when I pulled it out, cutting his lower lip down to his chin.
Then I kicked him in the balls for good measure. For the first time in our relationship I was the winner. I was gonna’ take advantage if I could. I wasn’t gonna’ be stupid, though. I had wanted a way out and now I had one.
With Darcy down and the crowd still recovering from the effects of Betty’s powers I jumped off the platform and ran down the center aisle. It was a risk, but it’d also be a risk ta’ try and run around the crowd. I needed ta’ find a horse and put as much distance between me, this town and Betty as possible.
I was almost outta’ the crowd when one a’ the thugs, one of the three who kidnapped me, pointed a shotgun at me. He fired, buckshot catching me on the left shoulder. Didn’t feel great, but I was alive. It didn’t slow me down. He was aiming again when I ran past him. As I did I slashed at his face with the razor. He screamed, but I didn’t stop ta’ see what damage I did.
In the stable I found a healthy horse and untied him. I quickly threw on a saddle and led it ta’ the door. I wanted ta’ grab some supplies. I looked down the road and saw the crowd startin’ ta’ rally. I had a feeling that because a’ what they’d just experienced, the demons at least, they weren’t gonna’ be in a forgiving mood.
I hopped up inta’ the saddle. Was about ta’ kick off when I felt someone tugging at my boot. It was Betty. Her once beautiful dress was torn and covered in dirt. She had a cut on her forehead which was bleeding down her face into her eyes. She looked sad, but still pretty. A lovely sadness.
“Abacus…where are you goin’? It’s our wedding day. I thought you loved me.”
“Darling,” I said as I reached inta’ my coat, pulling at the lining, “you thought you loved me.” I drew the other derringer and shot her in the belly, knocking her back onto the ground.
She didn’t try anything. Just sat in the middle of the road in her tattered wedding dress, holding her stomach and crying. I knew she was evil, but part a’ me still felt like an asshole. That didn’t stop me from riding off. What could I say? I was born ta’ be free.
End
