I didn't die.
I was lucky.
That's what everyone at the hospital told me. It was what my mom and dad told me. Wade said, "Holy shit, dude, you are lucky as hell to be alive."
I didn't feel lucky. I felt like I'd been shot. Twice. I felt like most of my face was broken. I was grateful to be alive. The euphoria I felt in the parking lot had only been blood loss and oxygen starvation.
Now all I felt was pain.
Pain and sadness.
I found it darkly hilarious how unimportant the stuff I was worried about earlier. Those two weeks without Beth, when I thought she was mad at me? That was nothing. I thought I knew what misery was until I woke up in a hospital bed, unable to talk, bandaged up, unemployed, and with an imprisoned girlfriend awaiting murder charges.
It wasn't all doom and gloom. Like I said, I was lucky. The bullet in my chest didn't have very much momentum after punching through Wyatt. It didn't penetrate my skin too deep. Didn't even come close to touching anything vital.
There wasn't much I could do about my broken nose. It was set up with a brace and packed with gauze. I didn't have to deal with the worst of it since I was comatose. The doctors re-set it while I was out so I didn't have to experience that pain.
Then there was the neck. That was bad. Again, I was lucky. It was a one-in-a-million shot. Jeff managed to shoot me, yet not hit anything. The bullet lodged in between my throat and carotid artery. The doctor told me the usual thing you always hear: if it had been a millimeter in any other direction then I would be on a slab in the morgue. As it was, I going to be able to speak. This was later, after my nose healed enough to remove the gauze and trachea tube they had in so I could breath. Even then all that came out was a low rasp. The doctors said there was a good chance my voice would return to normal in time. Which didn't really matter to me. I wasn't doing a whole lot of speaking.
I didn't speak to the doctors. Just listened, staring, nodding at the right times. I did the same when Helen came by to fire me from the bank. It was because of my association with Beth, obviously. It didn't look good that I was dating a criminal who recently murdered an employee and was being investigated as to the earlier robbery of the bank. The kicker, as I found out, was that Beth had already covered for me while I was in surgery and recuperation.
Her official statement was that, while we were a couple, Beth had hidden her criminal side from me. She told them that, as far as I knew, until the moment she shot Jeff I thought I was dating Beth Alamo, rancher. When the police asked me about this I dumbly nodded along. There was nothing that could implicate me. Black Hat had never been witnessed working with a male partner, nothing at my apartment could be traced back to a crime, and there was nothing of mine at her condo.
I could see in everyone's face that none of them believed me or her. I didn't care. Beth was in prison, I was all alone again. If I wanted to stay out of prison then I had to pretend I was appalled to find out who she "really was." I felt selfish. Not facing up, denying our love, but it wouldn't do either of us any good to both be behind bars.
So it went.
I was alone in my apartment. Since I got released from the hospital I spent most of my time alone. Mom came over at least once a week to do my laundry and tidy my apartment. She talked constantly, just filled the air with babble about everything from the piano lessons she taught to children to bizarre, petty politics at her church. She thought I was traumatized and needed someone around. Maybe I was traumatized. I kept a calm exterior, but inside I was going insane. I couldn't talk to anyone.
Now someone was pounding on my door. It wasn't my mom, she had her own key. She always tapped twice then opened the door. This was someone else. Not the police, they always identified themselves after a quick rapping. They'd stopped coming around anyway since I hadn't answered any of their questions.
I thought if I ignored the door then whoever it was would get bored and go away. That was how I was handling all my other problems.
That wasn't working this time. Whoever it was knew I was inside my apartment. They kept pounding. I looked over and knew exactly who it was because the door was nearly coming off the hinges with each knock. Dana confirmed it when she spoke.
"Luke, you know I'm not going away. I want to talk. Now open the door before I kick it in."
Being unemployed I didn't relish having to drain my savings replacing the door. I shuffled over. Out of habit I looked through the peephole. If it was a normal person outside I'd see their face. With Dana all I saw were her boobs. If I had any desire left in me I would've looked a little longer. I opened the door and welcomed Dana into my apartment. She had to duck down so she wouldn't hit her head on the top of the door frame. Once inside she could stand up, but it was still a close fit. I closed the door behind her.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she said, "but you look like shit."
It was true, I did. I still bathed and changed clothes regularly, but I hadn't gotten a haircut in a few weeks so I looked shaggy. My nose was still healing, it was crooked now and the bruises around my eyes still hadn't completely faded away yet. With the bandage around my throat I couldn't shave so I'd grown a scraggily beard while I healed. Even after I'd been able to take it off I kept the beard so I couldn't easily see the bullet scar. There were a few days where I forgot to eat and I'd lost some weight. I was skinny before, now I looked skeletal.
"You know how it goes," I rasped.
"We've got some things to talk about. I would've come earlier, but the cops were around you too much and you weren't answering your phone."
"If you're worried about me telling them anything, I won't. I don't want to go to prison. I also don't want your husband to murder me. My lips are sealed."
"What do you mean about Blood Shadow?" Dana asked.
So I decided to tell her what happened at the hospital.
I woke up groggy from the surgery to remove the bullet from my throat. A nurse was checking some sort of tube. She expected me to still be asleep so she went about her business even as I opened my eyes. I was hugely thirsty except there was something going down my throat. It hurt, but I thought that was just the bullet. I realized it was a breathing tube since my nose was still stuffed up with gauze and I couldn't breathe through it. I raised my hand to get her attention, but she was already turned around and walking towards the door.
It shut behind her leaving me in the darkened room and alone. Or so I thought. Stepping from the shadow behind the door a figure appeared dressed in all black. From the soles of his combat boots to the top of his helmet it was all black except for a splatter of crimson on the forehead of the helmet. He looked like a mixture of a fighter pilot and an infantry soldier. His outfit was like a flight suit, but had bullet resistant padding in certain areas. There was a gun belt around his waist and he also had on a tactical vest.
In his hands he held a menacing-looking machine gun. I thought it was an MP5 if I remembered my video games correctly. The muzzle was longer, a silencer, I guessed. I had the crazy thought Aren't those illegal?! Completely ignoring that the weapon was probably illegal anyway, silenced or not. Certainly not allowed in a hospital.
I wasn't afraid. I didn't make a move for the nurse call button. The man wasn't aiming the gun at me. He had it pointed at a downward angle. I was sure that he could draw and fire in less than a second, painting the wall with my brains. That didn't appear to be his plans. Not yet.
I was disappointed he wasn't breathing heavy like Darth Vader. He had the look for it. He didn't seem to be making any noise at all. That didn't seem all that odd to me since the last thing I remembered clearly was bleeding out in the parking lot and there was no sound then. After that I only had flashes of images of paramedics, an ambulance, being wheeled into a hospital. Except now I had sound back. I could hear the hiss of an air pump and the beep of a monitor.
"It looks like you're going to be alright," the voice was heavy and robotic. I was completely unprepared for it. It startled me. I lurched away from him, hurting my wounds and almost pulling the IV needle from my arm. The heart rate monitor next to me started beeping rapidly. The man backed away from me quickly.
The nurse who left earlier rushed back in. She didn't look panicked, only concerned. She told me to relax. She saw that I was in no danger from my wounds and none of my stitches popped. She went about checking tubes and wires to make sure I hadn't dislodged anything.
Once that was all done she removed the breathing tube from my mouth. It kind of hurt, but was more of a disconcerting sensation, like I was throwing up. After that was done she explained that my doctor had gone home for the evening and that he would be there when I woke up to explain everything to me. She gave me a sip of water, which was both a blessing and a curse. It felt nice in my mouth, but like gravel in my throat. I managed not to cough and got enough to be sated. After that the nurse left.
The man reemerged from the shadows. I wondered if he was Death, new Death, armored and armed Death, coming to take me to the afterlife. Except there was no reason for Death to be frightened off by a nurse. Though my painkiller haze I finally put it together.
"Blood Shadow?" I whispered. My voice sounded different, lower. It now hurt to talk.
"Yes."
His voice was completely undetectable through the filter. He sounded nothing like the guy I'd gone to those baseball games with. I didn't like him in costume. This was the first time I understood all those things Beth and Dana told me about him. There was nothing of my friend in this costume. I couldn't see him smile. His body was tense and primed for action. He radiated menace like Sarah did fear.
He walked forward and picked up the chart from the foot of my bed. He examined it closely.
"Everything appears good. You should recover well."
"Can you take off your mask?"
"No," he answered tersely, "I'm here to tell you how it is. Black Hat is in prison. She's going to be there for a while. She killed a man surrounded by witnesses and was still there when the police arrived."
"Why?"
"Because of you. It was stupid. She should have left you."
"Thanks."
"It served no purpose. You would have lived with or without her help. Now she's in prison. That doesn't help you and it doesn't help her. Right now it is very important what you do. Black Hat has introduced you into our lives. We've socialized, you've seen things that others haven't and will never. I am not threatening you, whatever you get out of this remember that. But I am telling you this: I value my freedom above all else. I've never been to prison and my number one goal in life is to avoid it. So if I were you then I would be very careful about what you say in the coming days.
"Dana and I are going to help you out. She has already spoken to people she knows who can keep things quiet. It will only work if you play along. You are free to do what you want. I know the police will pressure you to answer their questions. It will only last for a little while. If you play it smart this will all blow over."
"My life is over."
"No, it's not. Not yet."
I was going to argue with him, but I was too tired. The full weight of the situation was bearing down on me. That, combined with the painkillers, made me want to give in and go back to sleep. As I settled back into my pillow the last thing I saw was Blood Shadow melting back into the darkness.
"...and that's the last I've seen of him since that night. I don't know if he's been around and I've just not seen him. I don't know if I've been living in his crosshairs." I said.
"You can relax. I'm sure he would have told me if he was planning on murdering you," Dana said.
"That's a relief."
"He shouldn't have done that. I know you wouldn't talk, you didn't need to be threatened. He should have just told you that we'd be helping you and left it at that. It has been harder than I first thought downplaying your relationship with her. I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough about that. A cop who nobody owned found your stuff in Beth's truck. He gave that information to a reporter. That combined with her screaming your name and crying as the police arrived pretty much solidified the story getting to the paper. If only the right people had found your stuff then we probably could have saved your job."
"That's okay," I said, "I don't think I'd be able to go back to that place again anyway. It would drive me insane having to walk through that parking lot every day." I took a sip of water to soothe my throat. This was the most I'd spoken in weeks, "What happened to Wyatt?"
"As much as it won't seem like it, his participation took a lot of heat off of you. It was a bigger deal that a hero was still married to a criminal. He was also shot while in the process of beating a civilian. The Rescueteers were just as keen to keep this whole thing quiet as everybody else. They put their own pressure on the news networks to downplay it all to just another shooting."
"So he gets to beat the shit out of me and get me shot and he'll get, what? A slap on the wrist from his hero buddies?"
"Grow up, Luke. I know your pride is hurting. I've been on the losing end of fights, too. I know you're depressed about Beth. We're working on getting her out, I promise, you just have to wait. Shit like this takes time."
"How much would it take to have Wyatt killed?"
Dana stared at me, " Like, me or Blood Shadow?"
"Either. Both. He ruined my life and I want him dead."
"Don't be so dramatic. Your life isn't over. Shadow was right, you're still alive."
"How much?"
"I'm not an assassin."
"Blood Shadow then."
Dana kneeled down, taking my hand into hers, completely dwarfing it. Even though she could crush my hand into a pulp with zero effort she held it tenderly, "Even if you were still employed and saved every cent you made you still wouldn't be able to afford him. He'd never go through with it anyway."
"Why not? Because Wyatt's a super hero?"
"Hell, no! Shadow couldn't care less about that. He'll kill almost anybody if the money's right and it's physically possible."
"Physically poss...? Never mind. Why wouldn't he do it?"
"Because I wouldn't let him. Beth is my best friend. If she wanted her idiot ex-husband dead she would've done it. Or had me do it. Or paid Shadow to do it since she can more than afford it. Point is that he's still alive and she wants it that way. I also know that she doesn't want you to be the guy who does it. You're a nice guy and I think she wants to keep you that way. And I want to keep you that way. You know how many assholes I have to deal with constantly? Even Shadow is a jerk a lot of the time, focusing on his work, treating me like a fuck-buddy sometimes instead of his wife. It's a relief to talk to someone like you. I know we haven't spent a lot of time together, but you're sweet and kind and murder isn't for someone like you."
I still wanted to kill Wyatt. Or at least have him dead. But she was right. I didn't really have it in me. Beth also had said similar things. If I killed Wyatt then that would cause a rift between us. Jealousy formed a hard knot in my stomach. For all her talk of leaving him and replacing her memories of him with bad ones she still loved him. I knew this. Had always known it. But I tried to live with it. She may have really loved him at one point, but no more. She was with me. She killed a man for me. She held me until the ambulance arrived and got arrested for trying to get in with me.
What did she do for Wyatt?
Shoved him out of the way to get to me when I was hurt. So fuck that guy. I was angry, I was jealous, but I was winning. She loved me. He couldn't scare me away. She hadn't grown tired of me. I wasn't going to be like him. He was the one who broke down, who went into a jealous rage and attacked me. He caused all this to happen. The thought made me smile for the first time since I woke up in the hospital. It hurt, but it was worth it.
"If I can't kill Wyatt then what are we going to do about Beth? How much is that going to cost me?"
My sudden change of attitude had Dana smiling, too. It was brief before it turned to a concerned frown.
"Sweetie, I have good news and bad news on that front. The good news is that we're already working on that for free. You don't have to worry about that. I don't leave my friends to rot in jail."
"Now tell me the bad news," I said.
"It's not going to happen for a while. Possibly a year, maybe more."
"Why?"
"It takes a while to plan. Plus, Beth is a pretty big get for the cops. She's not the biggest villain they've arrested, but she is still a name people recognize on the news. She is going to be under tight security deep in solitary."
"I've seen you on the news smashing buildings down!"
"I'm not going to put myself in jail. Yes, I could, right now, smash through every wall like a wrecking ball and rescue her. But then what? That's what they'll expect to happen. The Rescueteers are on high alert. I guarantee you that one of them has been stationed at the prison so the guards will be protected. If I tried springing her now I would be caught, then we'd both be in prison.
"We have to wait until the heat dies down on her so you're going to have to be patient. This is her first time in prison, so I know she'll be scared. The good thing is that she's very brave and she's smart. She'll make it through this. When she's put back into gen-pop I wouldn't want to be the first person to try and put her down."
I bolted upright in my chair, "Someone's going to kill her?!"
"Someone will try."
"What? Who?"
"I don't know, Luke. Someone will, though. Just like the cops busting her, some prisoner shanking her would make a big name for herself. For the rest of her short, miserable life. Because, and I promise you this, whoever hurts a single hair on Beth's head will pay for it. If that means breaking that person out of prison just so I can spend a year killing them then that's what I'll do."
"Wow. That's...uh, that's pretty intense."
"I don't fuck around when it comes to my friends. Speaking of, I've actually got business with you. This isn't completely a social call. I've got word from Beth..."
"How did you speak to her? I didn't think she'd be allowed visitors."
"She's not. And there's no way I'd risk visiting her in prison. They'd lock me up in a heartbeat. While she can't have visitors yet, she is legally allowed to speak with her lawyer. She talked to her who passed the information to me."
"What was it about?" I asked.
"Beth is looking to take care of you. She knows you're alive and doing well by normal standards. Through her lawyer I was able to get into one of her bank accounts. She wants me to take you to a doctor and get you back to one-hundred percent."
"I've already been to doctors. I'm healing well. I even got lucky that my job didn't fire me in time so I was still on their health insurance. But I still have my part of the bill to pay. Which I can't because I'm unemployed now."
"Beth is going to cover that bill, too."
"...just how rich is she?"
"Best not to wonder, but it's a lot. I'm doing what she told me to do. She told me to pay all your medical bills. She even authorized me to give you a small allowance if you can't find a new job. Which should be no problem since after we see this doctor you'll be fit enough to do anything."
"An allowance? That makes me sound like a kept man."
"It's just something she wants to do. She must really love you."
"I don't know about all of this..."
"Look, take the money, take the help. You want to help Beth? Right now you can do this. She feels like shit for what happened to you. This is the only way she knows how to start feeling better: by making sure you're okay."
That made a weird sort of sense. My ego was bruised a bit by having to accept the money. Except the reality was that I desperately needed it. Without it I wouldn't ever escape from the weight of the debt. My parents wanted to help out, but I knew they didn't have the money. They could probably cover it except that would mean giving up all the money they were saving for retirement. I couldn't do that to them. Explaining where I got this money would be tricky. That was a problem I would have to solve in the future.
"Okay. I can do this. Now what's this about a doctor?"
"I'll show you."
